Year In Review The year. In review. Happy new year, one and all. This year, resolve to take better care of your dick and balls; last year you did a really bad job of it. Last week we examined what Americans got stuck up their butts; now it’s on to the opposite of the butt, the penis. All patient descriptions are taken verbatim from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits: DROPPED COMPUTER TABLET WHILE TRYING TO GET OFF TOILET; PENIS LACERATION TRIED TO MAKE A MOLD OF PENIS AND TESTICLES WITH PUTTY WHICH IS NOW STUCK ON SKIN WAS SLIDING DOWN A FLAG POLE FROM THE ROOF OF HIS HOUSE CUTTING PENIS TESTICULAR PAIN AND SWELLING AFTER WEARING A BUNGEE CORDAS A BELT PLAYING BASEBALL WHEN ACCIDENTALLY STRUCK OWN TESTICLES SWINGING A BAT PLAYING BASEBALL SLID INTO BASE WHEN STRIKING HIS TESTICLES ON BASE TIED OFF HIS TESTICLE AND PENIS WITH STRING TO KEEP HIS HARDON DURING SEX SHAVED PENIS AND TESTICLES LAST NIGHT. APPLIED DISH SOAP TO AREA … [Read more...] about What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Year In Review
Year In Review We look back at the best, worst, and most significant moments of the year, and look forward to next year. The Gizmodo staff has discussed the realistic technology we’re excited about for 2019, like itty bitty phones, video game streaming, 5G, and real-time translation (and why we shouldn’t get too excited about any of it). But the list that came from that discussion is limited by physics, laws, reality, and good editorial oversight. In the holiday haze (as some of the editors were off duty), we had another discussion about what technological innovations and developments we really want to see in the next year. Absolutely none of it will happen, but they provide an interesting glimpse into the id of Giz. Some were seemingly doable. Social media editor Emily Lipstein wants a streaming stick that allows you to watch anything, including Apple AirPlay and Amazon Prime Video. Reporter Sam Rutherford wants carriers to “stop misleading people with bullshit … [Read more...] about What Tech Do You Actually Want in 2019, Reality Be Damned?
Year In Review We look back at the best, worst, and most significant moments of the year, and look forward to next year. Have we already mentioned how long 2018 was? Oh, we did? Yada, yada, yada...we’re all really tired. Thankfully, today is the very last day of the year. With that in mind, take a look at all the geeky pop culture we loved (or didn’t) this year. Happy New Year, all, and thanks so much for reading. Here’s to a better 2019! For more, make sure you’re following us on our new Instagram @io9dotcom. … [Read more...] about All of io9’s 2018 Year in Review Lists in One Convenient Location
At first, it felt easy enough to laugh at them. There was Alison Ettel (“Permit Patty”) crouching on a San Francisco sidewalk after confronting a black 8-year-old girl for selling water. There was Jennifer Schulte, who became an instant meme as “BBQ Becky,” breaking down in a fit of white tears after calling the cops on a black family hosting a cookout in Oakland. Schulte became an instant meme—so mainstream that she was widely derided on The View. There was Theresa Klein (“Cornerstore Caroline”), a Brooklyn resident who accused a young black boy of groping her at a local deli, who earned the jeers of an entire block as she witnessed, live on camera, her story being refuted by the store’s surveillance footage. But there were also dozens of names we didn’t know: the nameless neighbors calling the police on black people campaigning on residential streets, for instance, or the anonymous “concerned” calls from university … [Read more...] about The Impossible Marathon of Journalism in 2018
We lost yet again, America. Our president is the biggest idiot that ever lived. We legit have a “serially bankrupt carnival barker” in the highest office in the land, and it appears that for the time being, there is nothing we can do about it. We can no longer hold the office of the presidency nor the White House in high regard because they have both been diminished by an overblown windbag and his propensity for propaganda. He has repeatedly bullied the media and cowed legacy journalism organizations into being afraid to call his bullshit what it is—LIES. Even as Robert Mueller’s investigation continues to take down his cronies, his merry band of idiots runs right alongside him, their fingers in their ears and their tongues in permanent “la la la” position as they pretend that nothing is happening and there’s nothing to see here. But there is. This man “won” a presidency on a lie and manipulation campaign, and that gets exposed even … [Read more...] about The Biggest Losers of 2018: Donald Trump and the American People